It’s been almost a year already since Season 1 of The Selection, an experience that I am forever grateful for and one that I was lucky enough to share with my twin sister and 28 other warriors.

It’s crazy to think that 30 civilians would voluntarily sign up for something so extreme, with no military background and for no prize. The famous question is; Why?

The Selection, Roaster#9Photo: Waiting in line to get teargassed

If you read my bio, I’m roster number #9 the Protector and believe me there was much more behind my reasoning to want to be a part of this show other than just wanting to sign my sister and I up for races. Although we were in this together, there was also an independent battle taking place within, one that I finally feel comfortable opening up about and sharing.

During the months leading up to this opportunity I had been facing some pretty dark days and what sure felt like depression, at 38 my husband and I had lost our first child to a miscarriage. Struggling with my emotions, asking myself repeatedly, why me, my husband and I were devastated and I felt as though a part of me had died. 

Photo: Teargas chamber

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and had to believe it just wasn’t our time. When this show came to light it was my opportunity to face something bigger than me and to challenge myself both mentally and physically to feel alive again, to put myself through more pain and heal in the process. 

Although this may sound crazy to some people I truly believe it was a blessing in disguise, in life we meet many obstacles but it’s up to us and how we choose to face them. You can be a worrier or a warrior, you decide.

Photo: Grueling 500lb log exercises

Participating in The Selection through darkness I found light, from the feeling of failure came accomplishment, from weakness came strength and through fear came determination. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

Happy to announce that I am currently expecting at 23 weeks and if that wasn’t enough, my twin Pamela is also expecting at 28 weeks both having boys! God is good.


Roster #number9

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